Hello Readers! My head is full and my eyes are heavy. How come? Well, for starters, I finally got back into counseling. For those of you who don't know me, I went to therapy for almost 6 months leading up to my move to NYC. There were several reasons why I needed it then, but I am a firm believer in the power of therapy. Since living here, due to time and getting finances in order, it has not been a priority (though it possibly should have been). As of almost a month ago, I felt like I was hitting, nay slamming, into a wall. That drove me to seek out affordable counseling. Another thing that happened in between that insight and today was that I finally got to go on a mini vacation. It was a roadtrip with a friend who has been there for me during my darkest hours. The only things we planned were the destinations, our lodging and the rental car. Other than that, we committed to leaving space to be 30-somethings who simply need time to rest & recoup. There was no other reason...simply, relax. It was one of the most restful vacations i've ever experienced. We ate, explored, watched netflix, drank and laughed. Upon returning to NY, I felt lighter and less overwhelmed by all the things.
[Pause] Please remember, I love NY and have no plans on leaving. [Unpause]
One of the many things that brought up emotion today during my session was that trip. I was asked why I was getting emotional when speaking about it. What I didn't realize is that I'm waiting for life to get back to 90mph survival and the restfulness to dissipate. Clearly, my mind is no longer at rest if that's firing away subconsciously. Ah, how complex we are (don't call me basic! wink). I am looking forward to begin working through some of this stuff that is weighing me down. It's helpful to type all this out, whether anyone is reading it or not. My trip though, sheesh, what a gift! If anyone is wondering whether or not you should visit Cape Cod and/or Martha's Vineyard, DO IT. It's as beautiful as the movies and your imagination tell you. Here's to working through hard things and celebrating being able to do just that! The end.
