Learning how to trust God is difficult. I’m still learning and often wonder what amount of trust in God’s plan is possible. I feel like I’m constantly attempting to walk on a tight rope and I just keep falling off. Luckily, it’s not high off the ground…what are those called? Oh slacklines, right? Did anyone else have a crush on someone who owned one of those? I won’t go down that road. But with all that said, I definitely feel like a beginner when it comes to trust. With all the places I’ve lived and different jobs I’ve held, there’ve been quite a few steps of faith taken - barreled through is probably more accurate. One leap of faith was volunteering in youth ministry. Youth Ministry has been very significant in my life. Growing up with divorced parents, my mom went to one church and my dad went to another. Because my siblings and I did the every other weekend thing, we sort of got to choose which youth group we wanted to do on Wednesday nights. I chose the church my dad attended on Sundays. That church youth group was formative and I still keep in contact with a number of families (including the former youth pastor)! It was the reason I wanted to volunteer as a youth leader.
I moved to Nashville in my mid-twenties and found a church I loved. Eventually, I began helping out with the youth group. Those kids were incredibly kind and loving. I chaperoned a handful of weekend trips and felt my heart expand when I was with them. I ended up leaving for reasons I won’t get into but landed at another church in Brentwood, TN. I waited a bit to decide about serving as a youth leader. But, one day a friend on staff (who I later moved to NYC with) asked me to coffee. We chatted for a bit before she brought up the youth group needing leaders. It was with a group of 8th grade girls and their leader had recently left. Even though I’d been helping out with teenagers for years prior, my nerves crept up. It was a huge commitment because you stayed with the same group as they moved up grades. When my first Wednesday came, I was so nervous they wouldn’t like me. But fortunately, it was all in my head.
Those girls ended up changing my life. I gained confidence in myself and fell in love with them and their families. We went to camps together and I even chaperoned a high school trip to Peru. It was a leap of faith to trust that group of girls. They were there for me for years and still are. A couple of them visited me in New York. And i’ve since been to one wedding, with another one on the books for next year. Having teenagers (and parents) trust me still means a lot. The other adults who were leaders were also very encouraging to me during that time. I am convinced that somewhere in my body is a container which holds all the love I’ve received from people in my life. And all I have to do is open it whenever I need it.
Until Tomorrow ⛅︎,
Sarah
